Friday, October 7, 2011


This is to the top brass over at Research In Motion (RIM) that follow my blog religiously, or so I hope. When you finally get your act together next year and roll out your new line up of QNX powered smartphones, please, please find some new names. Some of us got sea sick with the most recent line up of 2 dozen Bolds, 4 touch Curves, 3 Torches 2 French hens and a partridge in a pear tree. Ok, so maybe you can keep the 'Bold' as it's been the flagship model but one is truly enough. I'm sure you can make it work for all carriers a la Apple iPhone 4S - yes that was a cheap shot - and that might help reduce manufacturing costs as well. And while we're on the subject, how about whoever gives the final "yes" try saying "no" for a change like the late great innovator's innovator Steve Jobs did - that was another cheap shot - until it's a real life betcha by golly wow (sorry, Prince is playing in my head) phone that screams "yes."

Allegedly, you used strong arm tactics to get carriers to accept your 75% completed phones in the past but now the tables have turned. There are better OSs, thinner, faster, sexier and more consumer friendly phones that trump the almighty BB Enterprise. And all you've done is axe thousands of jobs, lost key players and got so desperate your Playbook probably couldn't help a pee wee league football team score much less lock horns with the iPad. Today's word of the day boys and girls, REVAMP. Everything. Start with the 2 CEOs. As mentioned numerous times before, put them on the board then get young, fresh and rebellious.

Try some cool advertising too. Do you think the head honcho of a fortune 500 company is going to keep you afloat? Really!? There's a slew of entrepreneurs (hate spelling that word) and people creating everyday. Those are the guys you should be after. Not the old dude in his Brooks Brothers suit and cap toe Allen-Edmonds, but the dude with the tatts that decided to work for Microsoft instead of RIM because Bill Gates knows tatts don't write code, people do. In layman's terms, drop the stuffy corporate attitude, take off your jacket, loosen up your tie, step inside the booth Superman is still alive - oh wait, I digressed that was a Jay-Z line - but still you get the point, I hope. But back to the phones. Let your engineers go crazy with it and see if they can best themselves and in turn they'll best the competition. Remember though, get some new names sans the Bold.

REVAMP. Everything. Anyone over there thought about the BB website having a makeover? I don't think it would hurt to try, I mean it's not like you can't run a beta in a test environment. Look at Apple, Samsung or even LG, they're sites for mobile prods are engaging, bright, and entertaining. They have a lot of coolness running in the background. The flash content is flashy. Wow, I just said flash content is flashy...smh...I've been writing too long. Yes your phones are all black but the all black everything without any visual stimulation is kind of oh hum.

Listen, I've been a proud BB user for nearly 7 years but I'm at my wits end. If it wasn't for the flawed design on the iPhone 5 (yeah I said it) that prompted only the release of the 4S I would have been selling candy in the subway to pay for a tear drop 5. But alas, I must wait. I like what you've done in years past but those years have passed. Wake up, smarten up, freshen up and get on your Jobs. I have a lot more to say but time is running and my supervisor might be wondering why I'm so quiet. So, in parting I wish you the best and a rebellious comeback. Get like me and you could be cool too. REVAMP. Everything.

(Insert raised eyebrow emoticon and rabbit ears)

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