ALPHA or A-HOLE

     As it was in the beginning - Alpha males have been around since forever. What's an Alpha male? Depends on whom you ask really, for some, an over confident, self indulged, successful asshole comes to mind. Some think about a ladies man, I don't want to get into a debate with myself because its no fun, like trying to have sex with yourself (for guys at least). Instead of defining it with a pigeonhole thought I prefer to look at what comprises an Alpha male, hopefully we can clear up any misconceptions.

     Confidence. That's huge, you hear women talk about it like Sunday sermons, confidence is a turn on. But not just for women, also for people you're around or doing business with. It shows you're sure of yourself and your abilities whatever they may be. Speaking with regard to women, ask your girl or lady friend their thoughts on it but make sure you clear your day first.

     Leadership. A good leader has direction and determination and can make sound decisions in a timely manner. A great leader is defined by the difficult decisions HE ultimately makes and accepts responsibility right or wrong, good or bad. In a relationship with a woman, the Alpha will have that aura of leadership but the key...pay attention...the key is he knows when its time. As a leader, take President Obama for a sec, when he's meeting with heads of state he has a purpose, there's something he is intent on accomplishing BUT that doesn't mean he disregards what the other person is about. With regard to a woman, whatever your attraction to her is, an Alpha male keeps that in focus but he also knows to take time and find out about the woman of his desire so he knows how interact with her. Remember it’s cool to joke and have fun but those have to stop at some point and get to the seriousness of the situation, have some couth and substance.

     Courageous. Babies are extremely courageous, there is no adventure known to man that scares a baby. It’s the unknown that drives them, likewise with an Alpha male. He doesn’t do things with a safety net, he doesn’t press forward only if there is a guarantee of success instead he presses on at risk to be successful. Some guys won’t approach a woman because she’s sooo beautiful she couldn’t possibly be interested in them (only an excuse because you’re afraid to get the brush off). Or their actions with and towards women haven’t changed since high school then wonder why they can’t get a woman, the prospects of dating a high school girl now is daunting with some of the 300lb hairy dudes locked up already but yet they're afraid to try something different. Look, there isn’t much we can be certain of in life so why live in falsehood of it. Why not, as the Alpha male, accept it and make a move. Try something new, do something differently, but whatever it is just know that it’s okay to fail. Failure is one step closer to success and Alpha males understand this.

     Professionally and personally Alpha males get the job done. If you’re reading this and would like to become an Alpha male please send a $19.95 Travelers check or money order to PO BOX…just kidding. Be nice but not to the point where you get too deep in the other person’s emotions and leave your cahones on the nightstand. But don’t be an asshole with asinine tactics that’s tacky. Do what you know with confidence and direction but know when to take a moment to listen and learn. Fun and jokes have a time and a place, however, women don’t have time for immature thoughts and actions and neither does Alpha males.

Be great, one.

DIARY OF A STRAPHANGER

Aargh!!


That's usually the only non-violent way I can express myself when it comes to the simultaneously loved and loathed #2 train.


-I have to keep this one brief otherwise I'll miss my next birthday-


Growing up in Brooklyn along the #3 line then having to adjust to the #2 is cruel and unusual punishment. I used to wonder why so many people coming from the Bronx heading to the city always seemed so, how do you say pissed in English, oh yeah PISSED. My fellow New Yorkers from the BX, I humbly ask that you accept my apology.


I too feel my face hardening when waiting for a train at 149th St and Grand Concourse to go to 241st Street on weekend nights. I also feel like running up and down the platform screaming expletives in hopes of re-enacting a sort of rain dance for frequent service.


Ah yes, the feeling of turmoil, anxiety, frustration, futility, anguish, calamity, and invariable hunger pains sets in. Limbs get weary, eyes lose focus, everything around sounds like Snoopy is talking and to makes things interesting your iPod is running low on battery. Now you're trying gauge how much battery timeyou have left versus actual commute time (and you thought math didn't apply in the real world). All you need now is an ignorant comment, an incidental brush of the shoulder or a beat cop giving you the suspect eyes to make you go bong-kers.


New York City I can't make this stuff up, if I could I'd get paid more. The service on the #2 train is horrible (at times, I'll play fair). Is it me, or is there an announcement saying "traffic ahead" between every other stop! I know most lines have a delay of some sort but to have us sit in the tunnel without any notification for 2 mins is an eternity for a few hundred people trapped in a mobile sardine can. Did I mention these people are New Yorkers? hey! MTA on behalf of my fellow #2 Strap Hangers I implore you to IMPROVE the service. Less trains should mean less delays riiight and.more trains should mean more ridership (is that a real word?, email me) riiight.

And what's with some of the riders themselves. I'm sure if someone took a census we would see an increase in the number of derelicts, cons-both "victs" and "artists"- and the obliviously insane. Did the 2 train suddenly become a certified vocational rehab center/mess hall? yes mess hall. Can't menion a NYC train and not mention the buffet style assortment of leftovers. If I wasn't so concerned about salmonella, hepatitis a-z, or spending a weekend at the CDC I just might help myself to some chicken wings and fried rice  or what's left from a snack box. Alas, my insurance doesn't cover blatant stupidity.

All I know is something gotta give. they funded repairs and upgraded the southbound 1 line, all I'm asking for is some clean rrains that run a little more frequently at night. And maybe some metal detectors, undercovers that don't look like undercovers, and an onboard shrink couldn't hurt. May be a stretch but can you guys update the automated PA system, I seriously doubt every delay is "due to train traffic ahead"


Life on the 2 line is a reality show years in the making.

CONVENIENT TECHNOLOGY

I'm in love with my BB (not Bottom Bitch). Part of my life is much easier since my first BB. First off, I'm not big on exchanging verbiage over the phone unless I know its going to be a positive talk or a woman I am interested in beyond sex. Yes I'll make a call when necessary or answer when I'm called but most likely its to get the full value of the money I pay monthly for the service. All in all I do everything with my BB except fondle it. Email, txt, video, voice recording, internet, qwerty, memory card and all the apps I can fit, what's not to love.

90% of the articles and blogs I've written have been on my BB. I'm not saying it replaces a laptop completely but it does make for a great sub. I can get up with the Twits, go all facebook on somebody and when feeling trapped get Myspace. Of course other phones can do that but I'm working in the land of bias for a hot second - yes, I'm talking to you, you iPhoner - and this is what I like.

This is not a knock on anyone who doesn't have a BB or some other PDA style phone because and the end of the day to each his own. Just wanted to share...and kill a few minutes while I sit on this train wondering where can I go for a quick getaway that'll charge me like Marcus Burnett but treat me like Mike Lowery.

TABLES TURNING

Maybe it’s just me but I’ve been noticing for a while now that women are getting it in. Neyo must have noticed too when he penned “Independent Woman”. Yes, we have certain women who was, is and will remain a staple in the world of bosses – Oprah, Tyra, Paris (she’s not really dumb contrary to public opinion) but I’m talking about the ones that are no know to the masses, not yet anyway.

These are the women of tomorrow and I have to tip my fitted to them. Take a good friend of mine for example. L’amour De La Mode is a fashion line started by her and two friends. They hooked up with a prominent business partner/mentor and just recently showcased their line for some potential clients/investors and have earned their own show in the next coming months so, Kimora, Ellen, Tracy better watch out. I know another woman whose blog is blowing up something serious, I’m sure NY is already on it so its just a matter of time before the rest of the world catches on. Check it out http://www.str8nyc.com/, you’ll see what I mean. Here’s a woman I admire because she doesn’t make any excuses and finds a way to make it happen. Intelligent, cultured, and has her fingers on the pulse of the city with the latest in hip hop you can catch her posts at www.examiner.com, she’s our premier NY Rap Examiner. Can’t forget to mention her Boss Bitch Chronicles blog. It’s funny, entertaining, and insightful.

These are women who are not settling for less, not relying on any dude for anything they can get themselves except for maybe, you know, but even with that you have to act right my man. I’m talking about women that are calling the shots and making things happen, as they want it, in my book that’s very attractive and sexy. Women are starting their climbing their own corporate ladders and starting a trend in the world of business, music, networking, finance and fashion. They have the balls to be as bold as their male counterparts like myself (shameless plug)

Personally, that is the kind of woman I want. A mentally strong, ambitious, open-minded, risk taking, savvy and funny woman is worth the trouble of getting in her heart and mind. The basics of what a guy wants are looks and body (I’ll get into detail about the package I want some other time); she can be blah blah blah. See after the physical attraction what’s left? I think our new era women have the answer.

MOVING ON

They say it ain't over until the fat lady sings. I think I at least heard her humming. Okay, you still love her, big deal! You want her back, hey people in jail want to come home and not feel a cold shiver run up their spine whenever they drop the soap in the shower. What's the point? The point is it's time to move on. I know it's easier said than done believe me, I've been there and it hurts like a mother@*#. One thing I've learned is that women, most at least, are not going to sit there sulking over you. While you're cooped up in the house ignoring your boys' phone calls your newly beloved ex is out with her friends or out with the dude you inevitably lost her to. So now you have options, answer the phone, hook up with an ex/jump off or take a minute to understand that this may just work out for you in the long run.

(My experience) it was a while before I realized that regardless of what happened between my ex and me, I had to take responsibility for my actions and lack of them. It's pointless to blame her and keep bringing up the past because that's how you stay in the past and allow your future to pass on (you like the play on words right, yeah). Things happen for a reason; maybe the woman you're with isn't ultimately for you or at least not at this point because if it is meant to be, it will be. Sometimes we have to go through heartache and bad times to grow as a person, that's what happened to me. I'm more mature than I was and my eyes opened up to see things in a different light. I was forced to evaluate myself and learn from my mistakes. Am I perfect? Almost, j/k; no, but I am perfect for someone out there and whoever she is, will be getting the best of the new me when the time is right.

Sex, Love and Money are powerful sources of emotion, when your relationship ends and you feel a pain in your chest, you can't or don't want to accept it, just know it’s probably because of lost love. But it’s okay; this could be something that will make you better for what God has in store for you. Moving on is essential, don't be afraid of the unknown. Yeah it could be scary but change can be good, maybe the best thing for you since you just lost the best thing you had. Isn't it time?