SWEET AND SOUR APPLE

To borrow a phrase from Kevin Hart, Alright, Alright! So, the latest iteration of the iphone will be announced today at 10AM PST in Cupertino, putting an end to months of rumors (some crazy as hell) and speculations. Let's get the obvious out of the way. The iphone will sell...a lot. Duh! There are already millions of iOS users and many more in the coming weeks when retail stores physically have the goods to unload to hordes of salivating customers eager to get their grubby hands on Apple's new baby. Myself? Eh, I've been waiting patiently since April 17th when my contract with T-Mobile expired so what's a few more weeks of blistering fast turtle like speeds on my Blackberry curve.

The not so obvious about the new iphone? What will it be called. We've all heard it's the iphone 5 or 4s or it just might be two phones - one top shelf and one for budget conscious ballers. 8 meg cam, Assistant (voice to text, etc) near 4" screen, A5 chip, possible 1gb RAM, 1.2ghz (maybe,) NFC, tear drop design, it cooks, cleans and can pick up the kids from daycare. Heard there's an app for that. I jest. If this means an entirely new phone then champagne will fall from the heavens, the birds will sing in chorus and men everywhere will be forgiven for spending part of the rent on another piece of tech.

But if not, then shame on you sour Apple for making the people wait so long just to offer an updated version of your last phone (which in the proper context is what phone manufacturers do every year anyway *insert sarcastic look*) This scenario would be devastating to the kiddies. Someone might actually jump off a cliff or the nearest curb. Either way, Apple wins and wins big. The biggest loser in this is T-mobile. If it wasn't for the fact that T-mobile is worth more than my entire collection of Yankee fitteds I might actually feel bad for them "...not getting the iphone 5 this year." Oh well, stay tuned boys and girls. Plenty more to come later around 1pm EST based on what's said at Apple's 'Let's talk iphone' event. But, umm, don't look for an update here, I'll be counting my ones to see if I can actually buy an iphone 5 or 4s or 4+5, whatever.

Deuces.