Thursday, October 1, 2009



That's usually the only non-violent way I can express myself when it comes to the simultaneously loved and loathed #2 train.

-I have to keep this one brief otherwise I'll miss my next birthday-

Growing up in Brooklyn along the #3 line then having to adjust to the #2 is cruel and unusual punishment. I used to wonder why so many people coming from the Bronx heading to the city always seemed so, how do you say pissed in English, oh yeah PISSED. My fellow New Yorkers from the BX, I humbly ask that you accept my apology.

I too feel my face hardening when waiting for a train at 149th St and Grand Concourse to go to 241st Street on weekend nights. I also feel like running up and down the platform screaming expletives in hopes of re-enacting a sort of rain dance for frequent service.

Ah yes, the feeling of turmoil, anxiety, frustration, futility, anguish, calamity, and invariable hunger pains sets in. Limbs get weary, eyes lose focus, everything around sounds like Snoopy is talking and to makes things interesting your iPod is running low on battery. Now you're trying gauge how much battery timeyou have left versus actual commute time (and you thought math didn't apply in the real world). All you need now is an ignorant comment, an incidental brush of the shoulder or a beat cop giving you the suspect eyes to make you go bong-kers.

New York City I can't make this stuff up, if I could I'd get paid more. The service on the #2 train is horrible (at times, I'll play fair). Is it me, or is there an announcement saying "traffic ahead" between every other stop! I know most lines have a delay of some sort but to have us sit in the tunnel without any notification for 2 mins is an eternity for a few hundred people trapped in a mobile sardine can. Did I mention these people are New Yorkers? hey! MTA on behalf of my fellow #2 Strap Hangers I implore you to IMPROVE the service. Less trains should mean less delays riiight and.more trains should mean more ridership (is that a real word?, email me) riiight.

And what's with some of the riders themselves. I'm sure if someone took a census we would see an increase in the number of derelicts, cons-both "victs" and "artists"- and the obliviously insane. Did the 2 train suddenly become a certified vocational rehab center/mess hall? yes mess hall. Can't menion a NYC train and not mention the buffet style assortment of leftovers. If I wasn't so concerned about salmonella, hepatitis a-z, or spending a weekend at the CDC I just might help myself to some chicken wings and fried rice  or what's left from a snack box. Alas, my insurance doesn't cover blatant stupidity.

All I know is something gotta give. they funded repairs and upgraded the southbound 1 line, all I'm asking for is some clean rrains that run a little more frequently at night. And maybe some metal detectors, undercovers that don't look like undercovers, and an onboard shrink couldn't hurt. May be a stretch but can you guys update the automated PA system, I seriously doubt every delay is "due to train traffic ahead"

Life on the 2 line is a reality show years in the making.

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